Question: Dear Sayadaw, I just quit my job as a government officer and I wish to be a permanent nun for a long time and now I feel ready. But my parents don’t allow me to ordain. How do I change their minds? Thank you Sayadaw. Sadhu!
“I am dealing with many parents who want their children to be a monk or nun, to meditate but their children do not want. That’s why they can do nothing. The same here, she wants to be a nun but her parents may not support or accept but she should try about at least one month wherever If you conveniently as a nun or not. If convenient you can continue to get this, you should ask their permissions for temporary being a nun for about one month. Actually, if you can do you can invite them to stay together for you to take care of them also. Concerning doing good deeds, even wife and husband cannot be in harmony; children and parents happen the same. They both cannot do good deeds together for sure. Most families cannot do good deeds together. If we want to do good deeds we must do by ourselves. We must be able to abandon our parents. If you dare to do, you can be a nun. If not, you cannot be a nun.
Actually the monkhood or nunhood is quite different from laypeople so they don’t stay together with others. Only in our center, we accept everyone, do all kinds of what is good that’s why the whole family can stay together. That’s nature. If we want to do it with the permission of our families, it is sure we are not able to do it. In this case, we should not obey our parents, teachers, and friends seriously. We should try a fight against them. If you are able to practice accurately as a nun, your parents will follow for sure. Even if they cannot be monk or nun, they can come and stay with you. In this way, you all can stay together again.
Even if the parent allows us to become a monk, a nun, still many difficulties of maintaining nunhood for the whole life, of doing good deeds all the time. That’s why I have experienced who decided to be monk and nun and to do good deeds and most of them disrobed it and went back to society. Therefore, you should be sure to be a nun or to do good deeds for the whole life; you should try first for about one or three months. If they still don’t allow you to ordain at the end, you do it yourself. No choice. You can come to Myanmar and ordain there then. Besides, other choices are at the TNC Lien Hoa Dhamma Nursing home. At TNC HCMC or in Malaysia by the upcoming retreat also.”