Question: Dear Sayadaw, this is my 1st time visiting a meditation center and involving in a retreat. Could you give me some basic knowledge about Dhamma to help me easier to start? Thank you Sayadaw.

You are making the same mistake as the others. You are able to do for the others, you are able to do good deeds but you have no chance, you don’t understand to do like this. Besides, you may have no chance to do good deeds not only for you but also for the others. Because of not knowing this Truth and not knowing like this, your mind is unstable and suffers from worríes and fears. You should try to change your view from a layperson to a meditator or a volunteer. Then should try to do good deeds by volunteering, helping, donating, teaching for free to the others who are in need. What you are doing now and before is not complete, therefore your mind is not peaceful. You should try to do good deeds for about one month together with the others. In this way, you can help others as much as you can. Doing what is right and doing for the others are the best we can do now. If you do like this, you can be satisfied and the mind will be peaceful. In your present condition, it’s possible to do like this, so you should try and you will be sure to understand by yourself.

We are solving for unstable, unpeaceful minds. By doing this, we are peaceful and stable. You will also be the same if you try to do like us. Your desire to be peaceful will be fulfilled. You have not many problems in your life and family but the problem is in your mind by your wrong view, your incomplete view. You need to change your view; stop thinking for only yourself or your family; you need to think of the others and the Truth. You need to work for families of others also. It’s necessary to change your life to be a nun temporarily if you dare to do so. Everything will be changed for sure and her mind’s problems will be solved for sure. If you have the idea to ordain you should not waste the time. You should try to do it in the near future because when we do good deeds, we should do now at the present moment, we should not wait for the future. The future is not sure for us, only the present moment is sure. Your problem of the mind in the past has gone, no more now; the problem in the future is not existing now. Only the present moment of suffering about unpeaceful is needed to solve. You’re suffering now so you should try to do it as soon as possible. You should try to be mindful now within yourself.

But you are not used to doing this, that’s why you may have difficulties. Therefore, you can do it together with us. For Thabarwa center, we have been doing good deeds presently since 2007 until now. The more we do, the more we can do. In this way, we are more busy doing good deeds at every present moment. Sharing what I know is also doing good deeds at the present moment if you understand you can do it at much as you can. It will make you peaceful and satisfied. You should understand that you are not alone with this suffering. Most people in society are the same as you. With this right understanding, you should try to do so, not only for yourself but also for others in society.

Question: But Sayadaw, my family is not Buddhist, they are not interested in Dhamma and even do not allow me to visit any monasteries. I have to lie to them that I am going to work today instead of coming here. They want me to have a good job with good money and get married, not to be a yogi and of course, not a nun. I have no way to practice what you are saying!

If you follow to fulfill your parents’ desires, you will have less chances to do good deeds, to be peaceful also. Besides, the other family members will also do the same, no family member will have a chance to escape from doing the same things again and again. Besides, if we do so, we are sure to be attached to do so. In this way, we will guide our children also to do the same like this and no one can escape from doing the same things. Besides, if we are satisfied and peaceful to do like this, we should do it. If we are not, we should not do it. I mean the whole family, you should try to find out your parents, sisters whether they are satisfied to work only for one family, one life, not for the life cycle. What most people do is for this life. In fact, there is no guarantee we will be able to be healthy, to be stable together. There is no guarantee for everyone. We are not satisfied and peaceful because of using incomplete views and doing incomplete jobs. If we have no chance to understand like this, we cannot escape, no one can escape. We should change our minds, our lives.

Besides, if we see from the side of a nun, monk, volunteer, meditator, most of them are unsure. There is no side effect in doing good deeds; but our bad habits and strong attachment and ignorance will not allow you to be a nun for a long time and do good deeds continuously. If you cannot follow the Middle way, you cannot be satisfied and peaceful and you may disrobe and go back to the society for sure. But most people in society do not understand like this, that’s why they are afraid of leaving their family members. What is right to do is if you have a chance to ordain or to do good deeds, you should try as much as you can first. If you find out that you cannot endure anymore, you should go back to the family. Without your own experiences about doing good deeds, you should not obey the tradition of the society. You should try to do good deeds first, whether as a nun or a layperson, for at least one or two months and then try to learn differences between the society and the meditation center. If you can follow the right way, you can continue to do good deeds, you can also share your experiences with your family and friends. In this way they may also have a chance to follow.