Question: Dear respected Sayadaw, I am 29 years old and helping my family business. After my grandfather died 10 years ago, I don’t feel stable and peaceful in mind. Could you please guide me what to do to make my mind stable and pure. Thank you Sayadaw!
“Maybe because of your attachment to yourself. You need to detach from yourself. You should practice in a meditation retreat like this, to detach from your job, your family, and yourself. It’s effective to encourage you to abandon whatever you have. Your problem is concerned with most people in society, it is a traditional mistake of living beings. Happiness and sorrow of laypeople are concerned living beings and non-living beings. Both happiness and sorrow are caused by ignorance and attachment. Because of ignorance or wrong view and attachment, the mind becomes unstable, always being busy with worldly affairs. We need to change from wrong views and attachment to right views and detachment – the only the Middle way: doing – only, experiencing only, knowing only, and using only. Because of rejecting or only accepting the Middle way, people in society have to experience many problems in their lives including their minds. Knowing about this cause and effect is the right view. You should try to use the right view most of the time and then detach from the other.
You should work not only for your family but also for others, not only your job but also helping, volunteering, keeping precepts, and practicing mindfulness and detachment. We should do what is good, we should work for others, keep precepts continuously. Now you are not doing what is good seriously that’s why you lose your stable and pure mind. If you are able to do all kinds of good deeds as much as you can you can be peaceful for sure. In short, you must be able to do all kinds of good deeds as much as you can likely you are doing for your family job. Besides, you must be able to detach from your place, job, family, and yourself by practicing at the meditation retreats like this.
In Thabarwa center in Thanlyin, there are over 3000 people staying their whole lives. Within 12 years, over 1700 people already died at the center, many old and sick people going to die. Also many problems in the center, most of the people cannot survive by themselves. That’s why we are always busy helping, teaching them, or giving accommodation and food, medicine. Compared to your families, our organization has many more troubles and problems but most people at the center do all kinds of good deeds as much as we can, not only for us but also for the others, for the center and for the Truth. That’s why most of them are peaceful and satisfied. If we are not doing this, we will not be peaceful and satisfied for sure. Besides, Thabarwa center cannot survive for sure. It’s not difficult for one family, just need to follow the Middle way by doing all kinds of good deeds.”
Question: I know about Buddhism by my parents but in their views only the religious rituals, not practicing. How could I change their views about Buddhism?
“We should not emphasize on someone or something. If we do so, it will never end. We will also waste our time by not doing what is good at the present moment. What we should understand is only cause and effect, good actions cause good results and bad actions cause bad results. Only the causes or actions create good or bad results; that’s why we should emphasize to do what is good at the present moment. We should not emphasize ourselves and others because being young or old, being rich or poor, being intelligent or stupid, being healthy or sick… are caused by good and bad actions. Instead of focusing on something or someone, or paying attention to your parents or yourself, you should do more of what is good at the present moment as much as you can. There is no other way. Because of not doing what is good at the present moment seriously, most family members have problems likely losing grandfather, losing a healthy and wealthy mind. With this right understanding, just emphasize doing good deeds at every present moment. This ensures to solve the problem of your family.”